Experiences from the first years of life have a huge impact on how you function as an adult person. It is exactly then that your way of perceiving the world, relationships and yourself is formed. If in childhood there was a lack of stability, predictability and a sense of safety, this lack does not disappear on its own. It carries over into adult life, often in a very subtle, but noticeable way.
Lack of stability in childhood can mean different things. Sometimes it is emotional chaos at home, tension, unpredictability, lack of support or the feeling that one had to be “alert” to cope with reality. The nervous system remembers such experiences and learns to function in survival mode.
In adult life it can manifest as difficulty with trust, both toward others and toward yourself. You may have a problem with rest, because your body does not know the state of real calm. There also often appears excessive analyzing, a need for control or fear of making decisions.
This is not a matter of character or “weakness.” It is a natural reaction to what you experienced earlier. Your nervous system learned to protect you in a specific way and still tries to do so, even if today it is no longer needed.
Understanding these mechanisms is the first and most important step toward change. As long as you do not see where your reactions come from, it is easy to blame yourself and try to “fix yourself” by force. When you begin to understand that these are patterns carried from the past, space appears for gentleness and real work on yourself.
Stop for a moment and think about how you react in stressful situations. Does tension appear immediately? Do you have difficulty letting go of control? Do you feel that you have to predict everything in order to feel safe? These may be signals that your body is still operating according to old patterns.
The good news is that these patterns can be changed. The nervous system is able to regulate itself and learn new reactions. This does not happen in one day, but every step toward greater awareness and contact with yourself brings you closer to a sense of stability.
Real safety does not consist in the fact that nothing difficult will happen. It consists in the fact that you know that you will cope with what comes. And it is exactly this that can be built within yourself, regardless of what the past was like.
In my e-book “The Four Foundations. Building Stability and Security" I show how to work with experiences from the past and build a sense of safety from within. I share practices that help regulate the nervous system, regain calm and create stability that may have been lacking before.
💛 This is the fourth e-book from the series “Journey to Yourself” – a cycle that step by step leads you to building stronger inner foundations. The fourth stage of this journey focuses on stability, safety and regaining trust in yourself.